The Lost Art of Relaxation

I am trying the staycation thing out. It’s hard to relax here at home. I was thinking I would do a lot of yoga, cook, read, disconnect, and be still for some periods of time. So far I slept through yoga (two classes), realized I had no food and so I made a Thai food delivery order that I am waiting for now. I will eat Pad See Ew glued to web pages about Belize vacations and reviews of these bed sheets I am considering purchasing.

Like a time change, I guess I need a few days to adjust to this staycation attitude change. The choice to relax is a hard one!

Cooking takes patience and nuances; Seamless takes the credit card that I have stored there so I can order in one click. Sitting on the couch reading a book is a forgotten art and doing nothing today means closing down the laptop but still holding the phone. Sitting in deep meditation is great for the old nervous system and increasing compassion towards self and others, but running on the Embarcadero burns calories plus it tones calves and thighs. A staycation is a million small decisions. Everything is on your own terms. Will you relax and try a new way or get anxious and text everyone you know?


Bring out the Kink!

You already know that I tend towards deviance.  I consider myself fairly kinky but sometimes, my kinkiness sits on the back burner – for much too long. Lately, I feel it simmer and then, I remember-

Sparkling, multi-colored, multi-faceted gem butt plugs stuffed away in velvet bags in my lingerie drawer that need a shine. Fishnet, black lace, tight leather, and slinky, zippered dresses crumpled up and on hangers, doing  justice for no one. A glass dildo once blown now unknown. A flogger not flung. Collars, clamps, rings, and pins, not fastened, not done. And these velvety, purple, hemp ropes, limp, longing for limbs.


I can’t say why exactly these instruments and these ways have been on my mind. My sex drive ramps up in the spring but it’s too early for that. God knows I haven’t been sex deprived! I have been self contemplative lately, and kink has always properly introduced me to myself.


Hormonal or situational matter not. What does is that I am able to play with a like-minded partner and soon. I would love to push and be pushed, to give and to take, to shock and be shocked and be close to my kinky cohort. Or at least tie someone up and sweetly torture them until they can take it no longer. At least it would give me an occasion to wear my best gem!

Photo51 9.50.24 PM 9.50.24 PM 9.50.24 PM

There are many metaphors for kink and even more theories and assumptions but I know it’s a simple manner. Kink is for adults who still like to play. 

Would you like to play with me?

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You can hide your face but you are still highly exposed. Anyone can find you on those innumerable escort advertising sites, including creeps and stalkers, including your old sorority sisters, including your family. No matter what security measures you take, your ad will eventually end up in plain view of someone who should never see it.

Also, I’ve been at this long enough to know that of the people who contact you, a very small percentage are worth meeting, and my focus is on that great group of long time client/friends that I already have.

And so I am changing the way I do business here.

I will be writing newsletters going forward in lieu of most of my online advertising. I have experimented with this in the past and have had mixed feelings about it. I want to respect the privacy of others and of myself. I never want to send you something that you don’t want or that you deem inappropriate. So please, if you receive my newsletter and do not want to again, click unsubscribe straight away. You will never hear from me again, at least not in that way. If you choose to receive the newsletter, it will contain travel and schedule notices, photos, and brief content that I aim to be relative and interesting, possibly even funny if you catch me on the right day.

I am very excited to start writing and I hope that you enjoy this more personalized way of keeping in touch. Think of it not as a newsletter, but as a polyamorous love letter!




A Dead Christmas

I am so sad that Christmas is over. I didn’t even get a chance to say Merry Christmas here so:

Merry Christmas!

I am still listening to Christmas music, (can’t get enough of Brenda Lee) even after seeing the Dead & Co. last night at Bill Graham Auditorium and having all of those fantastic songs running through my head. I guess you could call them oldies by now, even though they never get old- and Christmas doesn’t either.stealyourfacexmas

It really is the most wonderful time of the year. It’s been unusually cold here in the Bay Area and that has added a nice touch to the season, especially I’d imagine, for East Coasters like me. I didn’t have a tree this year but spent (more…)

Folsom Street Fair

I love when I come across events or happenings that are truly “only in San Francisco.” They tend to be rather extreme and, although the Summer of Love and the beat poets are long gone, these “only in SF” things tend to toe at boundaries, deviate from the norm, and sometimes- shock.

The Folsom Street Fair may be one of the best examples. It is happening today in SOMA. Everyone put on your leather chaps, grab your flogger and your slave, and head on down. This is from their website:

The Folsom Street Fair is like NOTHING else in the world. With nearly 400,000 of your closest kinky friends spread out over 13 city blocks of adult entertainment, this is an ‘only in San Francisco’ experience to be sure.

I remember about ten or so years ago, a girlfriend was in town from NYC. She is an artist and her medium is photography. She is also kinky with domination and foot fetishes. Once I saw her have an explosive orgasm at a sex club just from someone rubbing her feet who she then beat with a leather flogger. I wasn’t surprised as this is the friend who had a young, male slave acting as her coffee table when I visited her the previous year. Anyway, she is in town, the Folsom Street Fair is happening and I am living only blocks from it at the time. She wants to go photograph it, of course. I stay back; I was probably nursing a hangover as nights with her are always wild.

After about only 30 minutes she comes back. “So quick!” I say. She is a bit speechless and has a funny look on her face, like she may faint at any moment. After a few moments she declares- “I am as kinky as they come and nothing shocks me. I have been to swingers clubs and sex clubs all over the country and I was raised in Queens. But I have never seen anything like what I just saw. I am in shock.” Silence again.

I will never know what she saw. She could never quite articulate it. I can only imagine. For years I went to the Fair, until it started to get too crowded for comfort. For those years at the Fair, I had many moments like this: I observe an activity that one can never do in public except for these five hours in the year, am shocked, appalled, amazed, and often impressed. I look away and then I have to look back. I have seen some things that I will never forget.

human bondage sculptures

group masturbation

group sex (on a front porch)

beatings with floggers, whips, and clubs

gender bending at its best (sometimes gender is just so irrelevant)

something that just feels inappropriate to write down here

The Folsom Street Fair is where anyone can go and be anyone they desire without hassle or judgement. It is a place of ultimate freedom. It epitomizes the spirit of San Francisco- I mean the people and communities who built the city and those who made it famous and desirable throughout the years. I hope the Fair continues to happen, always.

As San Francisco enjoys another tech boom, as rents soar, and high rise offices and shiny, expensive condos are built as if  it were Shanghai, it is good to see the other side of the city in full swing. The side where the kinky people, the artists, and the deviants reside. Without them, we are just another wealthy city with good views.